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Fact: Dylan McDermott Is The Hottest 52-Year-Old Currently Living

Warning: There may be some minor American Horror Story spoilers.

2. Dylan McDermott, oh my sweet (and sometimes fictionally violent + crazy), Dylan McDermott.

Dylan McDermott, oh my sweet (and sometimes fictionally violent + crazy), Dylan McDermott.
Mario Anzuoni / Reuters

3. Where did you come from? And what is that coat?

Where did you come from? And what is that coat?

4. Are you an alien? How does one remain so flawlessly gorgeous over the course of so many years?

Are you an alien? How does one remain so flawlessly gorgeous over the course of so many years?
FX

5. Basically, HOW ARE YOU 52?

Basically, HOW ARE YOU 52?
FX

6. What is your secret? Sell me your potions. Give me your body.

Fact: Dylan McDermott Is The Hottest 52-Year-Old Currently Living

7. Remember when you were only like 1/4 as hot as you are now and that was 20 years ago?

Remember when you were only like 1/4 as hot as you are now and that was 20 years ago?
20th Century Fox

8. And then you came back into our lives and lit’rally changed all conceptions on aging?

And then you came back into our lives and lit'rally changed all conceptions on aging?
FX

9. Hypothetical question: What is age anyway?

Fact: Dylan McDermott Is The Hottest 52-Year-Old Currently Living

10. What makes you smile? What are your hobbies? Marry me?

What makes you smile? What are your hobbies? Marry me?
Jason Kempin / Getty Images

11. You are so free.

You are so free.
FX / Via omgblog.com

12. And by free, I mean all of the times you were naked on American Horror Story.

And by free, I mean all of the times you were naked on American Horror Story .
FX / Via omgblog.com

13. And that time you furiously masturbated, came, then cried.

 

14. WE ALL CRIED.

Fact: Dylan McDermott Is The Hottest 52-Year-Old Currently Living

15. Your hotness can even penetrate this 2009 Kate Gosselin-esque haircut.

Your hotness can even penetrate this 2009 Kate Gosselin-esque haircut.

16. And when you’re wrestling another man with only a towel on…

Fact: Dylan McDermott Is The Hottest 52-Year-Old Currently Living

17. … sensually eating a banana…

Fact: Dylan McDermott Is The Hottest 52-Year-Old Currently Living
FX

18. … getting stabbed…

Fact: Dylan McDermott Is The Hottest 52-Year-Old Currently Living

19. … looking down at something on the ground…

... looking down at something on the ground...

20. … or appear to be in the process of taking your clothes off.

... or appear to be in the process of taking your clothes off.

21. How do you expect us, as human beings, to behave?

How do you expect us, as human beings, to behave?
Steve Granitz / WireImage

22. I believe there’s only one way to behave…

I believe there's only one way to behave...

23. … and we learned that from you.

... and we learned that from you.

24. *Screams*

*Screams*

25. *Eats a donut*

Fact: Dylan McDermott Is The Hottest 52-Year-Old Currently Living

26. *Furiously masturbates*

*Furiously masturbates*
FX

27. Dies.

Dies.

The end.

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