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16 Reasons Why You Secretly Love Tom Daley’s "Splash!"

Well.

Well.
Clive Rose / Getty Images

Oh.

Oh.
ITV Press

Errm.

16 Reasons Why You Secretly Love Tom Daley's "Splash!"
ITV / Twofour / Via seanmorrisons.tumblr.com

MMMMFFFFFF……

 

I’ll stop. There are OTHER reasons why you will be watching the second series.

1. For example, you’ll enjoy wondering why most of the show consists of him wearing this very stange thing called “clothes”. Yeah, I know.

For example, you'll enjoy wondering why most of the show consists of him wearing this very stange thing called "clothes". Yeah, I know.
ITV / Via youtube.com

Clo-. Clootthsss. Cll-otthees. Nope.

Clo-. Clootthsss. Cll-otthees. Nope.
ITV / Via youtube.com

What is that fabric? It’s distracting. I can’t.

What is that fabric? It's distracting. I can't.
ITV / Via youtube.com

But it’s not only this…

2. You also enjoy the sexy studio.

You also enjoy the sexy studio.
ITV / Twofour / Via youtube.com

3. And the fact that Gabby Logan manages to say this with a straight face at the start of each week’s show.

And the fact that Gabby Logan manages to say this with a straight face at the start of each week's show.
ITV / Twofour / Via youtube.com

4. And you particularly admire the fact that a show consisting of about ten three-second dives…

16 Reasons Why You Secretly Love Tom Daley's "Splash!"
ITV / Via youtube.com

… can manage to occupy 90 minutes of prime-time TV.

... can manage to occupy 90 minutes of prime-time TV.
Scott Bryan / BuzzFeed and RadioTimes

5. Then there are the “celebrities” who take part…

ITV Press
ITV Press
 

Wow.

6. And the “intelligence” of some of these “celebrities”.

 
 

Credit: http://seanmorrisons.tumblr.com/ and ITV / TwoFour

7. Any dive they do? “Incredible”… apparently.

16 Reasons Why You Secretly Love Tom Daley's "Splash!"
ITV / Twofour / Via youtube.com

STANDING OF OVATION BY TOM DALEY / 30 PEOPLE IN AUDIENCE.

8. Then there’s the judges.

Then there's the judges.
ITV Press

9. But don’t diss her. Jo supplies words of wisdom.

But don't diss her. Jo supplies words of wisdom.
ITV / Twofour / Via youtube.com

10. The supposed excitement in the show? When somebody goes from a slightly high board to an even higher board.

The supposed excitement in the show? When somebody goes from a slightly high board to an even higher board.
Shutterstock

Your reaction to this? You feel nothing.

You really don’t care, do you? The only thing you care about is whether they spectacularly injure themselves.

16 Reasons Why You Secretly Love Tom Daley's "Splash!"
ITV / Twofour / Via youtube.com

11. Whilst the judges and the presenters are sympathetic to their injuries, you’re like…

16 Reasons Why You Secretly Love Tom Daley's "Splash!"
ITV / Twofour / Via -tomdaleys.tumblr.com

12. After six dives? A DANCE NUMBER.

16 Reasons Why You Secretly Love Tom Daley's "Splash!"

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY.

A man in a suit on a bicycle riding into the middle of a swimming pool? THIS SHOW IS AMAZING.

16 Reasons Why You Secretly Love Tom Daley's "Splash!"

(FYI you have now drunk a lot of wine)

(FYI you have now drunk a lot of wine)
Shutterstock

13. BUT NEVER MIND THAT. It’s the results. The “celebrities” are now lined up on small diving boards.

BUT NEVER MIND THAT. It's the results. The "celebrities" are now lined up on small diving boards.
ITV / Twofour Productions / Via youtube.com

Why? I HAVEN’T GOT A CLUE.

14. The two with the lowest scores? They compete in the “SPLASH-OFF”, which is not a double entrendre.

16 Reasons Why You Secretly Love Tom Daley's "Splash!"

15. THE TENSION OF THE SPLASH-OFF.

16 Reasons Why You Secretly Love Tom Daley's "Splash!"
ITV / Twofour / Via youtube.com

OMG.

THE OTHER CONTESTANT DIVE?

16 Reasons Why You Secretly Love Tom Daley's "Splash!"
ITV / Twofour / Via youtube.com

Nearly exactly the same.

16. Okay fine it all seems pointless. But think of what nights are like without Splash! That’s right, you watching WWII tank documentaries on BBC 2.

Okay fine it all seems pointless. But think of what nights are like without Splash! That's right, you watching WWII tank documentaries on BBC 2.
Horace Abrahams / Stringer / Hulton Archive / Getty Images

Instead you’ve got a man in his pants…

16 Reasons Why You Secretly Love Tom Daley's "Splash!"

… most of the time.

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