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60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College

1. You have a love-hate relationship with Karl Marx.

You have a love-hate relationship with Karl Marx.

He was wrong about everything! He was right about everything!

2. You know how Weber would interpret conservative policies against public assistance programs.

You know how Weber would interpret conservative policies against public assistance programs.

Protestant Ethic, anyone?

3. You use Durkheim to understand mob mentality.

You use Durkheim to understand mob mentality.

Collective effervescence, fuck yeah!

4. You’re all about that intersectionality.

You’re all about that intersectionality.

THINK ABOUT EVERY POSSIBLE ITERATION OF IDENTITY ALL AT ONCE!

5. You sigh when people mix up sex and gender.

You sigh when people mix up sex and gender.

They’re completely different. Oh, Zimmerman and West, don’t even get me started.

6. You know that everything, at least in part, is socially constructed.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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But, no, actually I’m not sorry.

7. Biological determinism makes you puke.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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8. Bourdieu and Foucault get you hot and heavy.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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If only you could understand their original writings…

9. You hear a lot of people’s opinions on social reality, and they’re mostly wrong.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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“Actually, recent studies show that…”

10. So you spend a lot of time explaining why things happen the way they do.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College

To very little effect.

11. You see data where others do not.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College

It’s everywhere! Every social interaction! It’s beautiful!

12. You know that the intuitive is not always the truth.

You know that the intuitive is not always the truth.

Reality is always so much more complex.

13. Which is why nothing bothers you more than attempts to use personal anecdotes to refute research.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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YOU’RE ONLY ONE PERSON, YOU FOOL!

14. You always resist entitlement by checking yourself on your own privileges.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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15. You give others the benefit of the doubt, by considering their disadvantages.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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16. You realize that most conservative politicians have no clue what they’re talking about.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College

Like, they think poverty doesn’t exist or something.

17. When Justice Scalia said sociologists were undecided about the effects of same-sex parenting on children, you were furious.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College

18. But you know that’s all to blame on this guy.

But you know that’s all to blame on this guy.

Regnerus’s methodology was so bad. Like, pathetically bad.

19. YOU. HATE. CAPITALISM.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College

DO YOU SEE THAT?! NO MONEY FOR THE REST OF US DUCKS!

20. Because you’re (not so) secretly a total socialist.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College

21. Which is why Wilkinson & Pickett’s research on societal inequality validates everything you believe.

Which is why Wilkinson & Pickett’s research on societal inequality validates everything you believe.

22. Though sometimes you do wonder if you’re too liberal.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College

23. But then you remember that it’s all supported by science.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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It feels good to be empirically correct

24. You hear “sociology isn’t a science” all the time.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
Fox / Via tumblr.com

What do you think science is then? Chemicals in a beaker?

25. 25. And you think “Fine, say goodbye to any enlightened social policy then…”

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College

26. You’ve given up on trying to bridge the “natural science vs social science” divide.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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Some day they’ll all come around and realize we’re both doing the same thing.

27. You roll your eyes when you hear people say that science is totally objective.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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As if such a thing were even possible

28. You see how everything is interconnected.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College

Why are Americans opposed to polygamy? Because slavery. (No but really.)

29. So sometimes you wonder if social reality is just too complex for humans to ever truly understand.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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30. And then you stare out the window, pondering if our field will ever discover a single theory that explains all of social reality.

And then you stare out the window, pondering if our field will ever discover a single theory that explains all of social reality.

31. Sometimes you think social psychology is a bit of a redundant discipline.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College

32. But mostly because you wish psychology, anthropology, and economics would all just join forces with you.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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The disciplines need to stop using different terms for the same thing…

33. You know that so much amazing research could be done if only it weren’t for those darn ethical codes.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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34. You’re a feminist.

You’re a feminist.

Wear that badge with honor!

35. You get pissed off at people who claim that they’re “color blind,” in terms of race.

You get pissed off at people who claim that they’re “color blind,” in terms of race.

YOU’RE NOT COLOR BLIND, YOU’RE JUST IGNORING RACISM!

36. You’re ashamed by how few people analyze society along lines of class.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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37. You want to raise your children without gendered expectations.

You want to raise your children without gendered expectations.

YES, SO CUTE. THE EGALITARIANISM, IT’S ADORABLE!

38. You realize that racism is so much more than using slurs.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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It’s how all of society is structured!

39. You see heteronormativity EVERYWHERE.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
Logo / Via blog.vh1.com

RuPaul ain’t gonna fix it all, honey.

40. Sometimes the feminization of poverty just makes you want to cry.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College

41. Culture of poverty theory advocates make you want to scream.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
New Line Cinema / Via replygif.net

One myopic ideology to rule them all.

42. You’re shocked by how sexist Disney movies are.

You’re shocked by how sexist Disney movies are.

If only the music wasn’t so good!

43. The criminal justice system horrifies you.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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Spoiler: It’s super racist and classist.

44. The education system disgusts you.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College

Spoiler: It’s super racist and classist.

45. The political system repulses you.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College

Spoiler: It’s super racist and classist.

46. You often daydream of a utopian society without gender, race, or class.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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And then you remember that hunter-gatherer societies are pretty damn close, but you like modern technology and medicine too.

47. You frequently use sociology buzz words, like “systemic, institution, binary, construction, and hegemonic.”

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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48. And more ‘progressive’ terms, like “queer people, indigenous peoples, people of color, socio-economic status, gender identity minorities.”

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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They’re more respectful AND more accurate.

49. You’re not sure if you’re a conflict theorist, symbolic interactionist, or structural functionalist.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College

50. Or, for that matter, if you’re a positivist or interpretivist.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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51. Or, for THAT matter, a post-positivist or constructivist.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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52. …Or critical realist?

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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53. You’re often haunted by the realization that morality is completely relative.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College

54. You know how to fix all of the world’s social problems.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College

Just make everyone take a sociology course!

55. You’re surprisingly good at statistics.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College

You’ve got to interpret the output in those journal articles!

56. But no other type of math. At all.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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LOL, WHAT’S CALCULUS?

57. It feels like you only study the bad parts about society, which has made you a bit of a cynic.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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58. So you’ve taken all of society’s burdens upon your shoulders.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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And now you understand why Durkheim’s peers called him the metaphysician..

59. Which likely explains your alcohol consumption.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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(Although the frequency at which your parents drank during your childhood better predicts your future drinking habits.)

60. But most of all, you love studying the science of how society works, and the insight it has given you is invaluable.

60 Signs You Studied Sociology In College
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