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16 Random Sassy Quotes From Fashion Show Reviews

Sometimes discussing the same well-cut suits over and over gets boring, so fashion critics got creative with their writeups from the men’s shows in Milan.

1. Versace

Versace
GABRIEL BOUYS / Getty Images

Tim Blanks for style.com. It’s a tough trade-off though: rock-hard thighs or picking up some of Judge Sheindlin’s one liners.

16 Random Sassy Quotes From Fashion Show Reviews

(Judge Judy wins out, always.)

2. Philipp Plein

Philipp Plein
Vittorio Zunino Celotto / Getty Images

Serving second degree burns in the guise of a review, Matthew Schneier for style.com.

3. Umit Benan

Umit Benan
Vittorio Zunino Celotto / Getty Images

Apparently wholly unaware of the greater sociocultural context, Cyprian de Coteau talking during a ShowStudio panel.

4. Diesel Black Gold

Diesel Black Gold
Pier Marco Tacca / Getty Images

Horror movie buff Sofia Celeste writing for NowFashion.

5. DSquared2

DSquared2
Pier Marco Tacca / Getty Images

A weary Tim Blanks writing for style.com.

Bonus: more DSquared2 snark from Charlie Porter, writing for the Financial Times.


DSquared2 was so traumatic, I’ll just type what happened: Curtains pulled back to reveal a tropical scene with a crashed wartime plane, overgrown with plants; centre stage was a waterfall, underneath which stood a model in tight white swim briefs, presumably meant to be a pilot coping with the traumas of war by acting sexy. What followed was a procession of the sort of clothes you’d expect to see on a budget airline flight back from Majorca, from white trousers cropped mid-calf to vests.

6. Prada

Prada
GIUSEPPE CACACE / Getty Images

A condescending section of Cathy Horyn’s review for the New York Times, which none of those apparently terrible “junior editors” will bother to read because they’re all to busy Instagramming photos of their cats or something, am I right?

7. Salvatore Ferragamo

Salvatore Ferragamo
Vittorio Zunino Celotto / Getty Images

Sofia Celeste for NowFashion.

8. Bottega Veneta

Bottega Veneta
Pier Marco Tacca / Getty Images

The AP with a killer quote from backstage at Bottega.

9. Gucci

Gucci
GABRIEL BOUYS / Getty Images

Lou Stoppard for ShowStudio.

10. Moncler Gamme Bleu

Moncler Gamme Bleu
Victor Boyko / Getty Images

Matthew Schneier writing for style.com.

11. Vivienne Westwood.

Vivienne Westwood.
Pier Marco Tacca / Getty Images

Lou Stoppard for ShowStudio. Bonus: here’s the quintessential “gah yah” experience summed in video form.

12. Emporio Armani

Emporio Armani
GIUSEPPE CACACE / Getty Images

Charlie Porter writing for the Financial Times, just before the craze in Paris for baseball caps stitched with the “Feline” slogan instead of Celine. (Then instead of “Dion” written below, there’s just “Meow.”)

13. Trussardi

Trussardi
GIUSEPPE CACACE / Getty Images

Lou Stoppard reviewing for ShowStudio.

14. Giorgio Armani

Giorgio Armani
GIUSEPPE CACACE / Getty Images

A little age-shaming wrapped up in a compliment, courtesy of Tim Blanks, for style.com.

15. Fendi

Fendi
GABRIEL BOUYS / Getty Images

Writing for NowFashion, Sofia Celeste could have just run with the “indoor beach” metaphor, but no.

16. Dolce & Gabbana

Dolce & Gabbana
Vittorio Zunino Celotto / Getty Images

And it’ll take more than a penile surprise to impress Cathy Horyn, writing for the New York Times.

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