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23 Things We All Do But None Of Us Will Ever Admit

1. Saying “I have plans” to get out of other plans, when the only thing you have planned is some R & R.

23 Things We All Do But None Of Us Will Ever Admit

2. Using Facebook’s “View As” option to see how your profile looks to your crush.

23 Things We All Do But None Of Us Will Ever Admit

3. Finishing family-size servings of junk foods in one sitting.

23 Things We All Do But None Of Us Will Ever Admit

4. …while marathoning a show you wouldn’t admit to watching.

...while marathoning a show you wouldn't admit to watching.

5. Ignoring a text for days* and then saying, “OMG I’m SO sorry, just noticed my reply didn’t go through!”

Ignoring a text for days* and then saying, "OMG I'm SO sorry, just noticed my reply didn't go through!"

*or years, as the case may be.

6. Snooping in people’s bathroom cabinets when you’re over at their place.

Snooping in people's bathroom cabinets when you're over at their place.

Careful that you don’t get out-creeped, though.

7. Starting a “private session” on Spotify and listening to your guilty pleasure song on repeat for six hours.

Starting a "private session" on Spotify and listening to your guilty pleasure song on repeat for six hours.
Rega Jha

‘Cause it’s the freakin’ weekend, baby, I’m about to have me some fun.

8. “Accidentally” sending your crush a Snapchat that was “meant for a friend, so sorry!”

"Accidentally" sending your crush a Snapchat that was "meant for a friend, so sorry!"
Natalie Morin

Your thumb slipped! And it is a total coincidence that you looked so cute and fun!

9. Deep and unabashed nose-picking.

23 Things We All Do But None Of Us Will Ever Admit

10. Lying during “Never Have I Ever” because you don’t want to be the only loser that hasn’t dropped acid or had a threesome on a plane or whatever.

23 Things We All Do But None Of Us Will Ever Admit

11. Being home alone = pizza out of the box, wine out of the bottle.

23 Things We All Do But None Of Us Will Ever Admit

Who needs dishes? Who needs shame?

12. Sneaking a quick glance through your significant other’s inbox when they leave their Facebook logged in.

23 Things We All Do But None Of Us Will Ever Admit

Or their phone unlocked.

13. Scheduling your emails to send at 8 a.m. so your colleagues and professors don’t know you’re a psycho 5 a.m. worker.

23 Things We All Do But None Of Us Will Ever Admit

14. Listening to a song on repeat for days so you can memorize the rap and bust it out at parties.

Listening to a song on repeat for days so you can memorize the rap and bust it out at parties.

15. Feeling an overwhelming relief when you get home and realize nobody else is.

Feeling an overwhelming relief when you get home and realize nobody else is.

16. Faking it.

23 Things We All Do But None Of Us Will Ever Admit

17. Genuinely intending to bake cookies but failing because you started eating the batter. And never stopped.

Genuinely intending to bake cookies but failing because you started eating the batter. And never stopped.

18. Watching engagement/wedding videos on YouTube and going through an entire box of Kleenex in an hour.

23 Things We All Do But None Of Us Will Ever Admit

19. Pretending to text while actually taking selfies.

23 Things We All Do But None Of Us Will Ever Admit

20. Peeing in the shower.

23 Things We All Do But None Of Us Will Ever Admit

Bonus: jumping in the shower post-poop, when you’re all out of TP.

21. Abandoning all social norms and grammar rules while in conversation with your best friend.

Abandoning all social norms and grammar rules while in conversation with your best friend.

22. Claiming to have read books that you’ve actually just read the Wikipedia entry for.

23 Things We All Do But None Of Us Will Ever Admit

Because has anyone really read Crime & Punishment? You have? Yeah, OK, sure.

23. And, finally, you’ll never admit to having related to nearly every item on this list.

23 Things We All Do But None Of Us Will Ever Admit

It’s OK. Nobody has to know.

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