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Kate Middleton Spotted Beating Fellow Royal Princess With Champagne Bottle

1. Kate Middleton arrived in Southampton, England this morning to christen a new cruise ship.

Kate Middleton arrived in Southampton, England this morning to christen a new cruise ship.

It’s one of her last official royal engagements before she gets to spend the final few weeks of her pregnancy in private, lying down somewhere comfortable and having maids bring her seedless grapes she’ll dip in dark chocolate-flavored Philadelphia spread because that’s (not really) one of her weird food cravings.

Image by Chris Jackson / Getty Images

2. The ship, a new vessel from the Princess Cruise line, is also named “Royal Princess.”

The ship, a new vessel from the Princess Cruise line, is also named "Royal Princess."

In other words, it would have been really quite awkward if Kate wasn’t available for the naming ceremony. (Even though she’s technically a Duchess we all know the real deal).

Image by STEFAN WERMUTH / Reuters

3. Here’s the Duchess having a “look at the big ship” Rose DeWitt Bukater moment.

Here's the Duchess having a "look at the big ship" Rose DeWitt Bukater moment.

Because the Titanic embarked on its maiden voyage from Southampton too, you see.

Image by STEFAN WERMUTH / Reuters

4. Kate wore a dalmatian print coat dress (by British label Hobbs) which showed off, yes, her baby bump.

Kate wore a dalmatian print coat dress (by British label Hobbs) which showed off, yes, her baby bump.

She is eight months pregnant at this point, so that’s understandable.

Image by Chris Jackson / AP

5. In a subtle nod to the day’s nautical theme, she also wore a fascinator that looks a little bit like a hovercraft.

In a subtle nod to the day's nautical theme, she also wore a fascinator that looks a little bit like a hovercraft.

(That resemblance is probably coincidental.)

Image by Chris Jackson / Getty Images

6. Wedding ring alert!

Wedding ring alert!
Image by STEFAN WERMUTH / Reuters

7. It was quite windy, so Kate got to play with her hair lots.

It was quite windy, so Kate got to play with her hair lots.

This is something that’s fun to do when you’re bored silly by speeches from cruise ship captains and other officials.

Image by Chris Jackson / Getty Images

8. See: bored.

See: bored.
Image by Chris Jackson / Getty Images

9. And here’s another example of a time Kate’s politely feigning interest…

And here's another example of a time Kate's politely feigning interest...

…when she’s actually still really bored by the subject at hand and actually thinking about whether people will realize she’s a One Direction fan when she gives the royal baby Louis (or possibly Louisa) as a middle name.

Image by Chris Jackson / Getty Images

10. “Yeah, whatever, I have this many servants working in the east wing.”

"Yeah, whatever, I have this many servants working in the east wing."
Image by Chris Jackson / Getty Images

11. Fun fact: the Royal Princess features a “glass-bottomed SeaWalk” seventeen decks above sea level, if you’re into those sorts of things.


More exciting: also onboard is the largest pastry shop at sea. There’s no confirmation on whether Kate sampled a pastry while looking around the ship, but let’s hope so.

12. Then, with her tour complete, Kate gave a nice little speech. Everyone loves hearing her talk, after all.

Then, with her tour complete, Kate gave a nice little speech. Everyone loves hearing her talk, after all.

“I name this ship Royal Princess. May God bless her and all who sail in her.”

Image by Chris Jackson / Getty Images

13. (Here she is thinking about One Direction some more.)

(Here she is thinking about One Direction some more.)
Image by Chris Jackson / Getty Images

14. Because she’s pregnant, Kate couldn’t drink this jumbo-sized, $2,000 bottle of fancy champagne.

Because she's pregnant, Kate couldn't drink this jumbo-sized, $2,000 bottle of fancy champagne.
Image by Chris Jackson / Getty Images

15. So, as is the British tradition, she decided to smash it into smithereens instead.

So, as is the British tradition, she decided to smash it into smithereens instead.

(She’s cutting the ropes attached to the bottle now, giggling maniacally.)

Image by Chris Jackson / Getty Images

16. Smashy smashy.

Smashy smashy.
Image by Chris Jackson / Getty Images

17. And some more smashy smashy, because these naming ceremonies are a big deal.

And some more smashy smashy, because these naming ceremonies are a big deal.

(It’s a longstanding tradition wishing for good luck and safe voyages; no sinking etc.)

Image by Chris Jackson / Getty Images

18. Anyway, as with all good British parties, the fun stops as soon as the first glass breaks.

Anyway, as with all good British parties, the fun stops as soon as the first glass breaks.

So Kate went back to the palace with some “free cruise” vouchers in her handbag. Here’s a picture of the pretty new ship out at sea — the “Royal Princess” will undertake her first post-Christening voyage across the Mediterranean this weekend.

Image by Handout / Getty Images
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