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19 OMG Moments From This Week’s "True Blood"

1. When Jessica kissed Bill.

When Jessica kissed Bill.

Oh, sure, she was high on faerie blood, so it doesn’t mean anything. It’s still totally wrong and gross.

Image by HBO

2. When Warlow told Sookie that he killed her parents to stop them from killing her.

When Warlow told Sookie that he killed her parents to stop them from killing her.

She didn’t believe him. Yet.

Image by HBO

3. When Billith summoned Warlow.

When Billith summoned Warlow.

Yep, that’s apparently a thing he could do. Also, it appears that hurting Warlow hurts Bill, which — uh, we might want to jot that one down?

Image by HBO

4. When one of Andy’s faerie daughters turned out to be alive.

When one of Andy's faerie daughters turned out to be alive.

That’s some shoddy killing, Jess.

Image by HBO

5. When Tara and Eric turned themselves in.

When Tara and Eric turned themselves in.

After being such a dick to Pam this season, Eric’s loyalty is kind of surprising, no?

Image by HBO

6. When Pam encountered vampire camp’s freaky experiments.

When Pam encountered vampire camp's freaky experiments.

Vampires getting their fangs ripped out, vampires being forced to run on giant hamster wheels, and — oh, yes — vampires fucking at ridiculously high speeds. Because science!

Image by HBO

7. When we flashed back to 3500 B.C.

When we flashed back to 3500 B.C.

Bless you for this insanity, True Blood. Incidentally, prehistoric times equal really bad wigs. It’s kind of a rule.

Image by HBO

8. When Jason and Sarah reconsummated their relationship.

When Jason and Sarah reconsummated their relationship.

Oh, Jason. I don’t think that’s going to make your gay Ben dreams go away. Sarah got the episode’s best line: “I truly believe God wants me to fuck you.” Amen.

Image by HBO

9. When Alcide attacked his dad.

When Alcide attacked his dad.

Insofar as it’s possible to care about anything werewolf-related. How are you so boring, Alcide!

Image by HBO

10. When Jessica and Sarah faced off against each other.

When Jessica and Sarah faced off against each other.

It was, well, really hot. But Jess lost and Sarah had her hauled off to camp. Reminder: not a fun camp!

Image by HBO

11. When Eric had to fight his fellow vampires.

When Eric had to fight his fellow vampires.

All part of Governor Burrell’s fun and games. Anyway, Eric won, because of course he did.

Image by HBO

12. When Terry asked his friend Justin to kill him.

When Terry asked his friend Justin to kill him.

Hey, what are friends for?

Image by HBO

13. When Pam opened up to her therapist.

When Pam opened up to her therapist.

Honestly, I just didn’t think she had it in her.

Image by HBO

14. When we learned Sookie’s parents were trying to kill her after all.

When we learned Sookie's parents were trying to kill her after all.

Which means Warlow was telling the truth about protecting Sookie that night. Which means it’s totally OK to ship Sookie/Warlow again.

Image by HBO

15. When Sookie’s dad possessed Lafayette.

When Sookie's dad possessed Lafayette.

Poor Lafayette. He finally gets something to do on this show and it’s being possessed by another character.

Image by HBO

16. When possessed Lafayette put Sookie in the trunk.

When possessed Lafayette put Sookie in the trunk.

Uh, Sookie’s dad is an ASSHOLE.

Image by HBO

17. When Lilith’s original fate was revealed.

When Lilith's original fate was revealed.

Warlow killed her in a gloriously cheesy flashback. Delightful.

Image by HBO

18. When Eric and Pam had to fight to the death.

When Eric and Pam had to fight to the death.

And the winner is… CLIFFHANGER. (But seriously, neither, please. Eric and Pam are two of the only reasons True Blood is still watchable.)

Image by HBO

19. When Sookie got drowned.

When Sookie got drowned.

Here’s something not to do when your head gets shoved underwater: start screaming. Anyway, it’s safe to assume Sookie survives — but she’s going to have a lot of daddy issues to deal with.

Image by HBO
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