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Tila Tequila Is Some Kind Of Hyper-Human

Okay, sure. That's not too out of the question.

1. Okay, sure. That’s not too out of the question.

Apparently, Miss Tila has died several times. It's okay, so have I.

2. Apparently, Miss Tila has died several times. It’s okay, so have I.

This checks out.

3. This checks out.

You ever hit one of these with your car? It's awful.

4. You ever hit one of these with your car? It’s awful.

"Galactic Ambassador Tila Tequila"

6. “Galactic Ambassador Tila Tequila”

She doesn't let the haters get to her.

7. She doesn’t let the haters get to her.

No, you “GTFO”, Martin.

This sounds almost identical to a voicemail I left on an ex-girlfriend's phone once.

8. This sounds almost identical to a voicemail I left on an ex-girlfriend’s phone once.

Tila wants you to know that your are beautiful, inside and out.

9. Tila wants you to know that your are beautiful, inside and out.

At the end of the day, all of her messages are positive, so who cares if the other stuff is probably some kind of horrible warning sign of the dawning of the War of the Nebulons, as fire will soon fall upon the Earth as the Black Sun fades into the House of the Ninth Scroll?

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