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The 11 Types Of People Who Feel Like "Chicken Tonight"

1. Misguided Youth

Misguided Youth

Who, exactly: This posse at top is clearly up to no good…wearing their backwards caps and using their boom-boxes as bongo drums, flagrantly disregarding a boom-box’s original use. The hooligans at bottom deign to dance on a roof.
Why: Because they are growing boys.

2. People With Briefcases

People With Briefcases

Who, exactly: Professionals who are very good at Windows 95.
Why: Because they must feed their misguided youth children.

3. People in the Same Room as People With Briefcases

People in the Same Room as People With Briefcases

Who, exactly: Whomever is in the right place at the right time.
Why:This cleaning woman knew the moment she saw this briefcase-wielding man that CHICKEN!!!!!

4. Government Employees

Government Employees

Who, exactly: Police men, postal workers.
Why: America.

5. Senior Citizens

Senior Citizens

Who, exactly: Your grandparents, old ladies who take up the whole block while walking too slow.
Why: Chicken because it is cheap. Tonight, because who knows about tomorrow.

6. Average Joes: The Backbone of America

Average Joes: The Backbone of America

Who, exactly: Your jovial neighborhood newsstand guy, truck drivers, waiters.
Why: Because everyone likes chicken.

7. Over-Excited Real Estate Brokers

Over-Excited Real Estate Brokers

Who, exactly: Hard-working people who know how to close a sale.
Why: Because celebrating a good day at work is nothing without chicken.

8. Motorcycle Chicks

Motorcycle Chicks

Who, exactly: Tori from Saved by the Bell.
Why: ‘Cause she finds Chicken Tonight’s concept badass: if you’re gonna live for today, you might as well live for tonight. With chicken.

9. Your Neighborhood Grocers

Your Neighborhood Grocers

Who, exactly: Cultural stereotypes.
Why: Because they sell Chicken Tonight in their store? It’s just in aisle three, next to the Hamburger Helper.

10. People Willing to Make Fools of Themselves in Public

The 11 Types Of People Who Feel Like "Chicken Tonight"

Who, exactly: This crazy lady.
Why: She has no idea. She doesn’t even know she’s in a Chicken Tonight commercial.

11. Your Mom

Your Mom

Who, exactly: YOUR MOM.
Why: Because it is a universally accepted truth that moms like chicken.

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