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The 16 Most Traumatic Things About "Nothing But Trouble"

1. Dan Aykroyd (who also wrote and directed) plays a 106-year-old judge.

Dan Aykroyd (who also wrote and directed) plays a 106-year-old judge.
Warner Bros.

His name is Alvin Valkenheiser, and he fought in World War I.

2. His prosthetic nose is pretty clearly a penis.

His prosthetic nose is pretty clearly a penis.
Warner Bros.

I mean, there’s no denying that, right?

3. He eats a hot dog, and it’s basically NSFW.

The 16 Most Traumatic Things About "Nothing But Trouble"

AVERT YOUR EYES.

4. He also drinks hot Hawaiian punch.

He also drinks hot Hawaiian punch.

What the hell.

5. The judge makes criminals ride Mr. Bonestripper, a deadly roller coaster whose name kind of says it all.

The judge makes criminals ride Mr. Bonestripper, a deadly roller coaster whose name kind of says it all.
Warner Bros.

This is the stuff of nightmares.

6. John Candy is in drag. A lot.

John Candy is in drag. A lot.
Warner Bros.

He plays Eldona.

7. Here’s John Candy in a wedding dress.

Here's John Candy in a wedding dress.
Warner Bros.

8. Reminder: THIS IS AN ACTUAL MOVIE.

Reminder: THIS IS AN ACTUAL MOVIE.
Warner Bros.

Just in case you forgot.

9. Chevy Chase and Demi Moore have a romantic subplot.

Chevy Chase and Demi Moore have a romantic subplot.
Warner Bros.

I’m not even sure why it’s icky. It just is.

10. There’s this whole thing where they get caught in a ball pit?

There's this whole thing where they get caught in a ball pit?
Warner Bros.

It’s not really a ball pit, which doesn’t make this any less weird.

11. And then they find Jimmy Hoffa’s body.

And then they find Jimmy Hoffa's body.
Warner Bros.

12. There’s a random (and lengthy) performance by Digital Underground.

You might remember them as the group behind “The Humpty Dance.” You hopefully don’t remember them from this awful movie.

13. This was Tupac Shakur’s acting debut.

The 16 Most Traumatic Things About "Nothing But Trouble"

Yes, really.

14. There are two mutant twins named Bobo and Lil Debbull.

There are two mutant twins named Bobo and Lil Debbull.
Warner Bros.

Dan Aykroyd also plays “Bobo.” It’s all really upsetting.

15. They play with Demi Moore, and it’s weirdly sexual.

They play with Demi Moore, and it's weirdly sexual.
Warner Bros.

But also childlike? Shudder.

16. The movie ends with Chevy Chase RUNNING THROUGH THE WALL.

The movie ends with Chevy Chase RUNNING THROUGH THE WALL.

How can you not agree with that sentiment?

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