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Baz Luhrmann Sucks

1. If you’ve seen one Baz Luhrmann movie, you’ve seen them all.

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

2. They’re all so heavy-handed. Dramatic lightning? For real?

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

3. Banal platitudes? No, thanks.

Banal platitudes? No, thanks.

4. SLOW DOWN with those zooms.

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

5. And everything is LOUD. It’s enough to give you a headache.

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

6. LOUD costumes. LOUD actors. LOUD sets.

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

7. Don’t even get me started on the product placement.

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

8. Remember when Baz was like, “Oh, I know what Shakespeare’s classic love story needs: Jamie Kennedy with pink hair”?

Remember when Baz was like, "Oh, I know what Shakespeare's classic love story needs: Jamie Kennedy with pink hair"?

9. “And I’ll make these ’90s teen stars use Shakespearean language. That won’t be awkward at all.”

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

10. Sorry, but it IS awkward. Like Leo’s face here.

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

11. It’s like, “I don’t know, Baz. Do YOU believe in directorial restraint?”

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

12. Prostitute with a heart of gold? Seen it!

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

14. I mean, honestly.

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

15. Is any of this crap even remotely necessary?

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

16. THIS MOVIE HURTS MY EYES.

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

17. More platitudes. And people quote this garbage incessantly.

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

18. Her dying day is in like a minute. So emotionally manipulative. I can’t.

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

19. You want to talk about Australia? OK, let’s talk about Australia.

You want to talk about Australia ? OK, let's talk about Australia .

20. Like all his movies, it’s style over substance. But it’s not even good style.

Like all his movies, it's style over substance. But it's not even good style.

21. It’s kind of shocking that a movie with this kind of hotness could be SO GODDAMN BORING.

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

22. At least in his other bad romances, the leads had chemistry. There is NONE here.

At least in his other bad romances, the leads had chemistry. There is NONE here.

23. Child actors: just say no.

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

24. I get it. Some of you enjoy being visually assaulted.

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

25. Some of you prefer color to story.

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

26. But these movies are silly, overblown, and occasionally unwatchable.

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

27. And THIS IS THE GUY adapting The Great Gatsby to film?

And THIS IS THE GUY adapting The Great Gatsby to film?

28. Perhaps he’ll finally explore subtlety.

Perhaps he'll finally explore subtlety.

29. Oh, it’s in 3D? Cool. I give up.

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

30. Yes, opulence is part of the story. But only PART.

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

31. It shouldn’t be an endless distraction.

Baz Luhrmann Sucks

32. But then, what else do you expect from Baz Luhrmann?

But then, what else do you expect from Baz Luhrmann?

33. This is a director who never learned that sometimes less is more.

This is a director who never learned that sometimes less is more.
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