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27 Things Every Great Pub Should Have

1. The bar has to be well stocked.

27 Things Every Great Pub Should Have

2. With a good selection of ales.

With a good selection of ales.

3. (Not that you’ll be looked down on for ordering a lager.)

(Not that you'll be looked down on for ordering a lager.)

4. And more than one cider…

And more than one cider...

…you know which one.

5. It’ll sell proper snacks. Like this.

It'll sell proper snacks. Like this.

None of your hand-cooked, Himalayan rock salt–flavoured, £2.69 a packet nonsense in our dream pub, thank you.

6. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

7. Mmmm…

Mmmm...

8. There should be one of these somewhere.

27 Things Every Great Pub Should Have

9. And a pub dog. Like this guy.

And a pub dog. Like this guy.

10. Or he’ll do!

Or he'll do!

11. Not this guy. He looks a little too hardcore.

Not this guy. He looks a little too hardcore.

12. An old-fashioned jukebox.

An old-fashioned jukebox.

Full of neither unimaginative chart nonsense nor self-consciously hip B-side indie rubbish. Just plenty of soul.

13. A toilet that is the exact opposite of this one.

27 Things Every Great Pub Should Have

14. A pool table.

A pool table.

…that you can get around and take a clean shot at from any angle! Imagine!

15. A good beer garden.

A good beer garden.

Something simple will do.

16. (With plenty of these, obviously.)

(With plenty of these, obviously.)

17. Graffiti should be tolerated (when it’s witty).

Graffiti should be tolerated (when it's witty).

18. A proper Ploughmans should be on offer.

A proper Ploughmans should be on offer.

19. And there should be space for the old boys.

And there should be space for the old boys.

A pub should be a welcome place for old-timers to mingle with youngsters and impart their wisdom. And let loose a bit, if they want.

20. Tell you who is not welcome, though: any stags dressed as a penis.

Tell you who is not welcome, though: any stags dressed as a penis.

21. Any hen parties (or inflatable dolls).

Any hen parties (or inflatable dolls).

22. Or anyone who just can’t handle their booze, basically.

Or anyone who just can't handle their booze, basically.

23. No, just unpretentious drinks.

No, just unpretentious drinks.

24. And above all, a sense of humour.

And above all, a sense of humour.
25.

26.

27.

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