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How To Be Your Best Goth Self, As Told By Lydia From "Beetlejuice"

1. So, you want to be a goth teen? Great! This is Lydia, and she’s the Princess of the Undead.

So, you want to be a goth teen? Great! This is Lydia, and she's the Princess of the Undead.

Stick with her and you’ll go far in the underworld, kids.

2. Step 1: Make the commitment to go on this goth journey solo, because loneliness is a key ingredient.

How To Be Your Best Goth Self, As Told By Lydia From "Beetlejuice"

3. Step 2: Pick an unusual accessory!

Step 2: Pick an unusual accessory!

If you don’t have a lace choker lying around, try stringing some spare keys to fishing line. Or anything that makes other people uncomfortable, really.

4. Step 3: Perfect your sullen “Really?” face.

Step 3: Perfect your sullen "Really?" face.

You’ll need to make it every time someone judges you for your lifestyle.

5. Step 4: Pull a creepy non-sequitur.

How To Be Your Best Goth Self, As Told By Lydia From "Beetlejuice"

6. And then relate it back to your own goth self.

And then relate it back to your own goth self.

7. Step 5: Goths prefer darkness, so pick outfits that look best in subdued light.

How To Be Your Best Goth Self, As Told By Lydia From "Beetlejuice"

8. Step 6: In fact, practice a shocked face for when you’re forced to see actual sunlight.

Step 6: In fact, practice a shocked face for when you're forced to see actual sunlight.

9. Step 7: Become a voracious reader of all things disturbing.

How To Be Your Best Goth Self, As Told By Lydia From "Beetlejuice"

10. Step 8: Always look like you’re filled with anguish and despair.

Step 8: Always look like you're filled with anguish and despair.

If you’re having a hard time conjuring up this look, just imagine that your parents are sending you to cheerleading camp all summer. Months filled with smiles, sunshine, and pleated whites. :::shivers:::

11. Step 9: Never EVER smile. Unless you’re in the presence of the undead, and then it’s fine.

How To Be Your Best Goth Self, As Told By Lydia From "Beetlejuice"

But even then, it’s kind of NOT fine!

12. Step 10: When it comes to hair and makeup remember this: BLACK!

How To Be Your Best Goth Self, As Told By Lydia From "Beetlejuice"

13. Step 11: Actually, just remember BLACK for all aspects regarding appearance.

Step 11: Actually, just remember BLACK for all aspects regarding appearance.

14. Step 12: Get a new hobby that involves taking photos while dressed like a witch.

How To Be Your Best Goth Self, As Told By Lydia From "Beetlejuice"

15. Step 13: See dead people.

How To Be Your Best Goth Self, As Told By Lydia From "Beetlejuice"

16. Step 14: Pretty much just hate everything.

How To Be Your Best Goth Self, As Told By Lydia From "Beetlejuice"

17. Step 15: Try to invoke unholy spirits to be your BFFs.

How To Be Your Best Goth Self, As Told By Lydia From "Beetlejuice"

18. Step 16: When faced with a “normal” social situation, make everyone around you uncomfortable.

How To Be Your Best Goth Self, As Told By Lydia From "Beetlejuice"

19. Using a line like this should suffice.

How To Be Your Best Goth Self, As Told By Lydia From "Beetlejuice"

20. Final step: Take a dance break, because goths secretly love dancing.

How To Be Your Best Goth Self, As Told By Lydia From "Beetlejuice"

21. Especially to Harry Belafonte.

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