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How To Be A Crappy Boyfriend

1. Step One: Take your girlfriend to a baseball game.

Step One: Take your girlfriend to a baseball game.
Ralph D. Freso / Reuters

2. Step Two: Wait for a major leaguer (Pete Kozma for instance) to hit a home run right at you.

How To Be A Crappy Boyfriend

3. Step Three: When the ball is flying directly at your girlfriend, run away.

How To Be A Crappy Boyfriend

4. Like, just back away from her. Don’t even try to protect her at all, and let it hit her right in the face.

How To Be A Crappy Boyfriend

5. Step Four: When the stadium staff comes to check on her, just pat her on the head.

How To Be A Crappy Boyfriend

As one of the announcers said sarcastically, “Nice going, boyfriend.”

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