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The Best Damn Thing- Reader X Prussia Ch 6

The Best Damn Thing-Reader X Prussia Chapter 6. Well, this one took forever all day but it was worth it! So Enjoy this one fellow readers! :3


“(M-M-Male Name)….” Gilbert stuttered. Wait, stuttered?  

You got up from your somewhat comfy position to see him, “What’s up?” You asked and saw that Gilbert was bright red in the face. “V-Vhy… do you have… zhis…?” He asked and held up what looked like a menstrual pad, you widened your eyes and felt slight embarrassment.


Oh boy…

Literally boy... you had to convince him that you were still a boy, or else God knows what he would do to you, either he’d fondle you in your sleep, or worse get you expelled. The few or should you say many people that found you out already could and would keep your secret but you still weren’t sure about this guy. You didn’t stutter because if you did, surely your secret would be given away, but his eyes were still glued on you and was expecting an answer out of you despite his brilliantly red face.

In a quick instinct you snatched the pad from his hands and scowled, it was now or never, “That idiot!” You suddenly found yourself saying.


“Why in the world would she put one of her pads in my backpack! Like I want to know that it’s her time of the month.” You lied quite subtle, though any other person considered very smart like that Arthur guy would’ve probably been able to tell that you were lying.


“My… twin sister…” You said a little slower but it sounded convincing enough.

“You have a sister?” Gilbert asked smiling, now suddenly interested and no longer embarrassed. “Is she hot?”

You noticed how excited he looked and you looked somewhat uncomfortable, “Hey man, she’s… not your type and no she’s not that hot..!” Saying that at your own expense but he would probably do things to you later if you just gave yourself generous compliments. “And besides I don’t know why she put this in my bag, but apparently she’s trying to tell me something that I don’t want to know, because… she ain’t that bright…”

“Who cares and besides no girl can resist mein awesomeness!”

“Yeah right…” You muttered quietly, since in actuality you found his behavior and personality a turn-off but then again there were times when he acted different and was more than how you thought he was… scratch those thoughts, you’re being stupid again.

“Vait twin sister?”


“Oh, is she like you at all?”

“No… fraternal twins… she’s straight!” You mentally cursed yourself for saying that.

“Got any pictures of her?” He asked grinning.

“Hey man! That’s my sister!”

“Oh calm down, you can trust me vith your sister I von’t do anyzhing funny to her… unless she vants me to…” He smirked and you looked disgusted, “Yes you will, you dirty bastard stay the hell away from her!” You said, not protectively but defensive since you were really talking about yourself.

However despite what you said Gilbert sighed, “Fine, fine I von’t do anyzhing funny to her because you’re mein roommate…”

“I really believe you man.”

“I’m serious, if it’s such a big deal to you zhen I von’t try anyzhing because after all… it wouldn’t be very awesome of me to be messing around with mein roommate’s sister…” He said whiling rolling his eyes, which indicated that he was reluctant to do so.
“Wait… you’re serious…?” You asked, your (eye color) eyes suddenly widening at this gesture from someone like Gilbert of all people.

“Ja, ja now you’d better believe me before I change mein mind.”

You sighed even if he was lying you’d still kick his ass even while you were… well a girl. “Okay, okay. Let me get my phone and look for a picture of her that actually looks good.” You said and got your (type of phone) and searched up the pictures you took or some that either Feliks, or your mom took for you. You found one of you when you wore pigtails and you were actually dressed like a girl. It was your 16th birthday so you kinda had to dress neatly and like a young lady that day.

“Here, this is her when she was 16.” You held up your phone to show him the picture.
“Wow, she’s cute…” Gilbert said eying the picture, he seemed to like what he was seeing. Then you closed your phone to Gilbert’s disappointment.

“Yeah she is, you’re never gonna meet her.” You said put your hands around your head while you lied on your bed.

“Ja, you guarantee zhat? Vell here’s zhe zhing (Male Name), you couldn’t get me to stay avay from a girl even if you tried.” He said with a psychotic smirk.

“Great just like how I can’t ignore you even if I try.” You rolled your eyes in annoyance. Eventually you did give up ignoring Gilbert because he was just so good at annoying the hell out of you but that didn’t mean you were a pushover. Hell you were the complete opposite of a pushover.

“Kesesesese~! Exactly!”

You groaned and sighed, then you grabbed your backpack and zipped it up, getting ready to head out. Classes were finished for the day anyway, now it was just free time for you and maybe Feliks.

“Vhere are you going?”


“Can you be specific?"

You narrowed your eyebrows and spoke with a little more force. “Out.”

“B-But...You can’t leave!”

“Yes I can.”

“ But zhen who am I supposed to brag to about mein awesomeness ?!” He practically whined and crossed his arms.

“Some other poor unfortunate soul, I’ve put up with you for some time Mr. Awesome. Let someone else know how AWESOME you are! With your AWESOMELY annoying voice and your AWESOME smirk!” You smirked yourself and put your hands on your hips. Gilbert glared at you.

“Maybe I vill! You just admitted zhat I am AWESOME! Because I am!” He said and stuck his nose in the air.

“I was being sarcastic dumbass. I am AWESOME!” You said and then made a break for it into the hallway, laughing with satisfaction.

“(Male Name)!” Gilbert yelled and jumped out his bed to chase after you even if you were already further out into the hallway, still laughing so hard.

“I feel a song coming on!” You screamed through your laughter and then you began to sing

~I just wanna scream and lose control
Throw my hands up and let it go
Forget about everything and run away, yeah
I just wanna fall and lose myself
Laughing so hard it hurts like hell
Forget about everything and run away, yeah~

“You’re such a faggot! Vhat is zhis?! Glee?! ” Gilbert yelled sounding annoyed with you, well theres a shock.

“You’re just jealous of mein awesome voice!” You said and mocked his German accent.

“Shut up! You call zhat singing! I’m zhe one with an awesome voice!”

“Yeah right, I have to hear it every day you know how exhausting that is?!” You said and burst into laughter again and sped up your pace and stood ahead of the albino.

“I’m coming for you (Male Name)!” Gilbert screamed and had a crazy look in his eye, well crazier than usual along with that same psychotic smirk.

You smirked and got an idea. “RAPE! RAPE!” You yelled and a bunch of guys turned their heads to see you as you ran past them, wind blowing their hair from your speed and it didn’t take too long for Gilbert to run past them too at a similar speed.

“RAPE!” You continued to yell, a lot of guys looked amused and flabbergasted. Gilbert kept smirking despite your screams, that is until he saw how everyone was looking at you two as you ran.

“You zhink zhis is funny huh (Male Name)?” He said once he heard how hard you started to laugh again, this was priceless.

“Yes!” You said and managed to dodge a few guys that were in your way.

“Maybe you’ll see how funny it is once the Awesome-Me snatches you!”

“You can’t catch me because I’m a superstar!” You yelled and felt a little zealous at the moment, with the speed you were running at the wind you picked up blew through your hair but it didn’t blow all your hair out; other than that you felt like a superstar.

“You’re a homo!”

“Well this homo’s a superstar! I can outrun you!” You said but you spoke a little too soon once you realized that Gilbert was closing in on you, which worried you. That and you were getting slightly tired since you were no track star but you had only a sufficient cardio and besides the adrenaline rush you had served to help you while you continued to sprint.

“I’m gonna get you!” He said and his crazy smirk almost scared you but then you saw a stairwell nearby and you quickly jumped on the rail and slid down but you lost your balance at the end and fell on your ass. It stung but you quickly got up to make a sprint once you saw that Gilbert stole your idea of getting down that stairwell.

“See ya sucker!” You said as you walked into an elevator and flipped him off, but the elevator wasn’t closing and Gilbert was running towards you. “Come on!!” You cried and kept pushing the up button a few times, “HAHA! I’ve got you zhis time you little-!” He said but was cut off once the elevator shut on him. You heard him curse a few German words while this thing took you up, but it wasn’t long after you burst into uproarious laughter. That was probably one of the most fun things you’ve done in a long time, and Gilbert was priceless, the faces he made and just the whole wild goose chase was HILARIOUS.

You wiped a tear from your eye and took a deep sigh, “I’d better stay in here just in case and then I’ll sneak out and get out of here.” You thought while you continued to laugh a little bit.

Meanwhile Gilbert walked away from the elevator, determined to get you back. He wasn’t going to go back to his dorm-room all by himself and he certainly wasn’t going to let you get away with this, since you were going home and all. This was fun, it would’ve been more fun if he caught you, which he would! But going back to his room would’ve been boring, with no one to talk too… and just being alone…

That’s no fun…

~~~~~~~Time Skip of AWESOMENESS~~~~~~

You took your car-keys and opened the door and the car as well, but you made sure that Gilbert wasn’t around to come back at you for earlier. Though you were kind of leaving without anyone else but him knowing, so you grabbed your cell-phone and decided to call Feliks.

“Hey Feliks I’m going on home for the day.”

“You are? Can I, like, come over?”

“You don’t have to ask me, of course you can. I’m bored and I haven’t been home in a week for the past 2 weeks I’ve been going here. I mean don’t get me wrong I’ve told Mom and Grandpa all about this place and the people, just not the ones who know my secret. And besides I’m sure they’re dying to see me.”

“Great, I’ll be there in, like, a few hours. Don’t wait for me girlfriend!” Feliks said from the phone, you could practically see his grin through the phone and you chuckled.

“ Kay bro, see ya soon.”


You hung up your phone and looked around to make sure that Gilbert wasn’t around again and then you jumped into the front seat, started the engine and got out from your parking spot. You corrected your rear-view mirror and then…

“SURPRISE!” Gilbert’s ruby-red eyes shined through the mirror and you yelled in shock and surprise.


He laughed at your reaction, to him your expression was priceless. Apparently he was in the backseat of your car and he had Gilbird sitting in his messy hair.

“What the hell are you doing in here you stupid bastard?! Get the f*** out of my car!!” You yelled angrily, or rather demanded. How the hell did he get in your car?!

“Oh come on admit it that was hilarious!” He said and wiped a tear from his eye.

“I said get out man!”

“You’re so boring, first you leave me in the room and now zhis….”

You twitched one eye and took a deep breath. When you get spooked like that, you’re bound to be frustrated.

“How… did you get in here?” You said while taking a few more breaths.

“I followed you out here vhen I saw you out zhe vindow. Und zhen while you vere on zhe phone I snuck in and opened your door to zhe backseat.” He explained and you had a flabbergasted look, and you pretty much wanted to punch him in the face. You didn’t like surprises…

“You had your fun now get out.”

“Make me.”

“I’ll literally throw your ass out of here, man.”

Gilbert sighed, “(Male Name) I can’t leave.”

“Why?” You whined, why couldn’t he leave? And why was he telling you? Why did it have to be you?

“Funny story. I know a rich brat named Roderich and his girlfriend, really vell. Zhose guys are my friends from childhood. You see zhey zhink I’m awesome, so I have to slap them around every now and zhen, but Elizabeta his girlfriend prefers to hit my vith her frying pan.”

“Yeah you three sound like you’re real busom buddies. I’m surprised at how you’re willing to go along with me when you got-“ You said but then you heard that there was another girl involved.

“Elizabeta?” You asked,  interested that Gilbert had another girl in his life, well at least one that he was aware of.

“Ja, Ja. She’s a friend, sort of. She and Roderich hit it off pretty vell, und she didn’t notice mein awesomeness so she just left me in zhe dirt but who cares about zhat? Vhat really happened just now is... I vas bored so I sent Roderich a picture of mein awesome 5 metres.”

You shot him a disgusted look, “Oh, you’re disgusting.”

“Okay, okay zhen apparently Elizabeta found out and it pissed her off, she vants to punch me in zhe face…” He said but still smirked despite the fact that he looked only somewhat scared, this girl must be something…

“Yeah so do I, tell her that’s something me and her have in common once she catches you.”

“Ja vhatever, so get me out of here for a vhile.”

“No. I’m going home and my Grandpa will kick your ass if he even saw you near me.” You said, despite the fact that you started to drive.

“You von’t even know I’m zhere.”

“Yeah, I tried doing that when I found out we were roommates, didn’t work.”

“Oh come on, it vill be an awesome experience, anyone vould feel very lucky to have zhe Awesome-Me to hang out in zheir house.”

“You’re right, the few weeks I’ve spent with you as a roommate make me feel extraordinarily lucky, you’ve changed my life Gilbert Beilschmidt, HOW can I ever repay you?” You asked, being very ironic. If anything you deserved a medal for being a good smart-ass, though you weren’t really this sarcastic to people

Normally Gilbert would’ve shaken off whatever snark you threw at him but right now it was actually starting to hurt, “Are you high on the sarcasm drug, (Male Name)?”

"I don't need to be."

“So is zhat a yes?”

“GET OUT OF MY CAR!!” You yelled with more frustration and you even hit the brakes.

And then for a whole minute, Gilbert was actually quiet and he looked stunned for once until he finally spoke up.

“Fine…” He said and opened your door and started to walk away, but you couldn’t see his face.

You took a breath and realized what you’d just done. Sure you were pissed at him to begin with but you didn’t tune out his story of when he told you that a friend of his chose the other guy over him, as much as you wanted to say you could see why she did, you didn’t. Right now you actually felt like you’d been mean to the guy. And what was crazier was… you actually like this dumbass-guy, and the way he was leaving so suddenly like this, quiet and practically sullen made you feel like the way you shunned him had turned him into someone else that he’s usually not. And then you remembered that night you two spoke to each other, that he was actually awkward and even kind of cute like that… Okay… he is cute…

Great, now you felt like a bitch, or bastard. You bit your lip in frustration but then you drove up to Gilbert who was still walking but then he turned to see your face as you rolled down your window.

“Get in…” You said a little reluctant.


“Yes, now hurry up before I change my mind.”

“I call shotgun!”

“Yeah, yeah.” You said and he got in the car with you, but then you bonked your head on the wheel. This feeling that was boiling in you was starting to both frustrate you and confuse you, but you shook it off and took it as guilt because you felt like you had upset the albino.

Gilbert laughed at you once you raised your hand to your forehead that you hit, “You looked stupid!”

You were about to say yet another sarcastic remark but instead you didn’t. “Yeah I know.”

“Kesesese~! I knew you’d come back if I did zhat!”

“What?” You slowly turned to the smirking Gilbert, annoyed. Extremely annoyed.

“I knew zhat if I acted like I was actually all sad und stuff, zhat you’d come back to me! I knew zhat a friend like you would come back if you thought I vas upset und you fell for it!”

You twitched your eyebrow, you should’ve just driven home once he got out of your car… or should you have?  Once you heard him say the word, friend…

“I’m not your fr-“ You were about to say but you cut yourself off.

"Never mind."

Gilbert turned his attention towards you but with his usual smile-smirk, “Huh? Vhat vere you going to say (Male Name)?”

This guy… was many things. Annoying as hell, yes, A complete narcissist, yes, kind of a loser, yes. Okay skip the rest of the negative things you thought of him because even though you lied to yourself about this you knew that he also had a good number of positive things about him. That he was fun, outgoing and not afraid to be a goofball. That even though he’s loud most of the time he actually has a sweet side that you caught a glimpse of once. So yeah, he was your friend. No more lying to yourself.

“ So I’m your friend?” You raised an eyebrow to a surprised looking Gilbert.

“V-vhat? Did I say zhat? Nein, nein you must’ve heard wrong…” Gilbert scratched the back of his head, embarrassed and then you grinned widely. “No I'm very sure I heard you say that I’m your friend.” Gilbert widened his eyes and you smirked once you saw red flush spread on his pale cheeks.

"Ha! I got you! I'm your friend and YOU know it!” You playfully teased.

“N-nein! Vatch it (Male Name)! Fine, fine you’re just someone I’d go drinking vith because you’re not as un-awesome as I thought!” He huffed and crossed his arms.

“Aww, don’t worry Mr. Awesome your secrets with me… buddy!” You said and took one hand away from the wheel for a quick second to punch him the shoulder.

Gilbert looked embarrassed but he smirked and then punched your shoulder too, "Allright you smartass, just as long as you don’t get gay for me.”

“Oh… I don’t think that’s possible…” You said and muttered those last three words softly while you drove on home with Gilbert.

~~~~~~~Time Skip of AWESOMENESS~~~~~~

“Okay we’re like right here but here’s the thing, my mom doesn’t like me bringing home boys unless its someone like Feliks and my Grandpa will kill you if he sees you near me, literally kill you.”

“I’ve got it, relax (Male Name) I think you’re family will be amazed once zhey see your new awesome friend.”

“Yeah…” You said awkwardly and then you drove right into the driveway in front of your house and got out, Gilbert followed you; Gilbird still in his hair but he seemed to chirp happily once you were in front of your house.

“Nice house…”

“Thanks, it ain’t much. Now come on in but don’t get the place dirty.”

“Okay, okay.”

You opened the door, to find that there was no one here. That’s odd, you would’ve expected your mom or Grandpa to be here but there wasn’t anyone. Perhaps they’re having  a late day at work? Or your mom is out shopping for groceries or something?

“Uh… it seems that my mom and Gramps ain’t here…” You said but then you heard your phone ring.


“(Your Name)!”

“Hey mom.” You greeted but then you quickly walked into another room while Gilbert was distracted with looking around your living room.

“ Are you still at your college?”

“No, I just got home.”

“Oh, well I’m so sorry for not telling you this earlier, but… the thing is I’ve got to go somewhere for a while but I’ll be back tomorrow! And Grandpa is with me… so there’s some food for you to cook and make sure you don’t answer the door for anyone! A-and no boys! Unless it’s Feliks!” Your mom explained frantically through the phone, she couldn’t have told you this earlier… now that Gilbert was in the house so it kind of broke the no-boys rule…

“Oh no mom that’s okay and I’ve got it: Food for me to make, no boys unless it’s Feliks and no answering the door for strangers.”

“Okay… I love you so much… I’m so sorry…”

“You don’t have to apologize… I love you too…”


“Bye…” You finished slowly, well this was fantastic this just meant Gilbert got to stay here with you longer till your ‘rents get back. It wasn’t going to be as bad as you thought, but still…

You went back into the living room where Gilbert was at, sitting on the sofa. “Gilbert.”

“Hm?” He turned towards you.

“It seems that my mom and Grandpa are going to be for the day, but they’ll be back tomorrow. So it’s just you and me…”

Gilbert smirked and got up towards you, “Alone at last!” He said but you put your hand towards his face to push him away.

“Vait a minute, vhere’s your sister? Now zhat I’m here I get to meet the frau?” He asked and nudged your shoulder, you looked fairly shocked. How were you supposed to do this? Then an idea popped into your head, it was a stupid one but it’s the only one you have. Better than nothing.

“I think she’s upstairs, but stay down here and I’ll go get her okay?” You said and Gilbert looked confused but he shrugged, “Vhatever floats your boat.”

You ran upstairs, you were going to have play along and start some sort of conversation… with yourself.

“(Your Name!)” You pretended to call and then you put your hands to your mouth.

“Yes?” You sounded a little more girly.

“Come on down cuz I got a friend here visiting.” You got into your room.

“Okay who is it brah?” You took off your parka.

“It’s my roommate Gilbert, the one I’ve told you about.”, Down to your pants .

“Oh I finally get to meet the famous Gilbert, is he like what you say?”, And took off your ponytail, letting down your (hair length), (hair color) hair.

“Yeah he’s a total douchebag go see for yourself, and don’t make yourself too comfortable please.” You were in your undergarments now but then you began to remove the wrapping from your chest.

“Ha! Like hell I will, I don’t want to get comfy in front of your boyfriend.” Then you were searching through your drawers. While Gilbert heard your ‘conversation’ and he sniggered, this (Your Name) was witty, it must run in the family.

“He is NOT my boyfriend, cuz he ain’t mah type!”  You found a simple black t-shirt and put it on.

“Yeah right, what is your type (Male Name)? And besides when you’re roommates whaddaya think that means?” You took the first pair of jeans from the second drawer.

“Ugh, you always got to use that kind of talk with me doncha? You're just jealous cuz I'm popular isn't it? Because people can see me clearly for who I am while you gotta hide.” You put them on despite how frantic you were.

“Oh for God’s sake (Male Name), you wanna know something? Me and my friends find you extremely annoying! And not just the homophobic ones.” Then you put back on your shoes.

“Oh I’m annoying?! Look who’s talking, the dimbo who decided to put her pad in my backpack? No guy wants to know that you’re not feeling well (Your Name)!”  To make yourself look like you did in the picture you showed Gilbert you looked for some hair ties.

“I did that just to f*** with you, since everyone would’ve found out you were gay by the time you got there and then your roommate would’ve assumed, ‘wow you’re so gay that you have a vagina!’ “ You tied your hair into pigtails and took one last look in the mirror.

“I am not taking this from you so congratulations you get to spend the whole day with Gilbert, woo-hoo for you!” It’s been a while since you went back to dressing more feminine, well feminine enough.

“Hey! I heard zhat!” You heard Gilbert from downstairs and then you had to walk downstairs as yourself and not (Male Name) for once in front of him. He shouldn’t notice…
Gilbert wasn’t paying attention for a minute until he looked up to see you…

You looked no different from the picture that you showed him, but he seemed to look at you just a little nicer than he did when you were (Male Name).

“Hi.” You forced yourself to say, even though it was kind of weird.

“Guten tag.”

“So you’re the awesome Gilbert my bro’s been talking about?” You said and raised an eyebrow.

“Ja! Zhe one and only!” He said proudly and you chuckled.

“You’re name is (Your Name) right?”

“Yes.” You nodded, ironic. He knew your alter-ego better than the real you. Something was telling you that this was going to somehow bite you in the ass later on…

“Wow… you two really are twins… vhere is (Male Name)?”

“Oh he threw a fit and now he won’t come out of his room…” You said but then you noticed Gilbert looking upstairs a bit interested by the way he was smirking but you put your hand over his chest. “So you can’t bother him…!” You said but then you noticed that your hand was on his chest and you both just stared into each other’s eyes, blushing the same shade of red but then you took your hand back and looked away.

“Umm… so yeah it’s nice to meet you, my brother has said a LOT about you…” You said and rubbed your shoulder nervously.

“Oh has he? About how awesome I am?”

“No more like how you’re a giant douchebag.”

“Zhat little brat! He zhinks he’s so awesome when he’s kind of a loser, since you know he’s gay und all.”

“Oh, he’s awesome but not as awesome as me.” You said with a smirk, resembling how you normally looked when in drag.

“You zhink you’re awesome frau?” He smirked at you, as a girl this time with his trademark smirk.

“Ha! I KNOW I’m awesome.” You smirked and put your hands on your hips.

“Vhy don’t you prove it?”

“ ‘Kay, I’ve got games in here, let’s play Hasselhoff!”

“You’re on!” Gilbert said just as enthusiastic as you, since you called him Hasselhoff like you did as a guy Gil just assumed that ‘(Male Name)’ told you all the things ‘he’ says about him.

It felt kind of good to be in regular clothes and not having to wear that wrapping; that had the misfortune of being itchy at times. Yet the truth was that now it would be weird how you probably won’t be able to talk to Gilbert as easy as you did when you were a boy without giving yourself away.

End of Chapter 6~! :3
Okay! Chappie 6 here! This time at the beginning you lied out of your ass, had a wild goose chase with Gil and now you're driving him home with you and you get to be yourself for once! How somewhat awkward is that?! The song sung by Reader-chan is Runaway by Avril Lavigne which belongs to her. And Prussia belongs to you.

I think this story's going to be at least 15 to 20 chapters long so... ENJOY! :3
Picture belongs to original artist
Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himayura

Chapter links:
Chapter 1:…
Chapter 2:…
Chapter 3:…
Chapter 4:…
Chapter 5:…
Chapter 6: HERE!!
Chapter 7:…
Chapter 8:…
Chapter 9:…
Chapter 10:…
Chapter 10.5:…
Chapter 11:…
Chapter 12:…
Chapter 13:…
Chapter 14:…
Chapter 15:…
Chapter 16:…
Chapter 17:…
Chapter 18:…
Chapter 18.5:…
Chapter 19:…
Chapter 20:…
Chapter 21: COMING SOON!!

Here's an Extra little bit starring the A.S.K!:
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